There are many different ways to get babies and toddlers to go to sleep. Some parents believe in the cry it out method, and others co-sleep. There are pros and cons to co-sleeping, but I think the pros outweigh the cons of co-sleeping.
I have co-slept with both of my children. I know it is a controversial topic for some parents. For some people, it is a choice, and for others, it is a necessity.
What is co-sleeping
Co-sleeping is when parents, sleep in the same bed as their little ones. Some families put the baby/toddler directly in the bed, and others have a sort of half bed that is right next to the bed. If you breastfeed, it is a common way to sleep because it allows you to easily feed your baby without getting up multiple times a night. You just roll over and pop a boob out and voila, dinner is served.
Pros of Co-Sleeping
There are many positive aspects of co-sleeping. I breastfed both of my daughters, and the ease of feeding without getting up for the umpteenth time was well worth it. I could sleep a bit more, making my quality of life a bit better in those early days where feeding happens every two hours.
Also, there is something to be said about bonding with your baby, and there is no arguing that skin on skin contact is essential. And, if you are a worrier, like me, and like many moms, it makes it easy to check and see if the baby is breathing. I know that sounds morbid, but babies are fragile, and I found myself checking to see if my babies were breathing many times throughout the night. I was scared of SIDS, and I thought that’s not going to happen on my watch. However, there are conflicting ideas about whether cosleeping contributes to SIDS or helps prevent it. You can read different arguments here and here.
The Cons of Co-Sleeping
Of course, there are negatives too. Co-sleeping can be dangerous due to the proximity of the baby in bed between two full-grown adults. The covers could accidentally cover their face, or if one parent is a heavy sleeper, they could potentially rollover on the infant.
Likewise, if the parents drink alcohol or are smokers, it can be dangerous for the baby to be in bed. I know a very sad story involving a young mother from my hometown who drank too much and accidentally smothered her infant son of 18 months. This tragic event happened many years before I became a mother, and it was definitely on my mind when I was co-sleeping with my babies. But I believe as long as you are aware of the dangers and take precautions, you can create a safe environment for co-sleeping.
Lastly, there is the idea of the, ahem, marital bed. At some point, you may want to get frisky again with your partner. I will be the first to admit that yes, having a toddler between you can put a damper on the intimacy and sexy time between you and your partner, but you have to be creative. My partner and I are lucky, we both have open schedules so we can find time during the day when our little one is at preschool or when she goes down for a nap or to bed. We can make use of the couch, kitchen counter, patio, bathroom, laundry room, entryway, office, uh…you get the idea.
What the Experts Say
According to some experts, co-sleeping is dangerous and should be avoided at all costs. The American Academy of Pediatrics states that parents should not bed share but that they should room share. The Center for Disease Control and Preventions says that each year 3,500 babies die of sleep-related causes. While I do not claim to know more than these organizations, I believe if a parent is aware of the dangers and takes appropriate precautions, they can reap co-sleeping benefits while avoiding the risks.
My Own Experience
I co-slept with both of my babies. The first was out of necessity. It was just the two of us, and we lived in a small apartment. I remember that time fondly. We would cuddle up at night and when she was old enough to talk, she would tell me about her day, and we would tell each other stories then drift off to sleep. It was an important bond that we had. She slept with me until she was seven years old. She is now 15, and in case you were wondering, she is quite well adjusted. My second child, who is currently two and a half, still sleeps with me, and she probably will for a while.
Mamas You Do You
In the end, it’s up to you whether you co-sleep or not. As a parent, you get to decide what works for you. My suggestion is to research all of the information and speak to your pediatrician so you can make an informed decision. Like all things parenting, make up your own mind.
Keri Anne Johnson
Keri has been teaching English and ESL for the past twenty years. She loves learning about new places and perspectives. She is an ex-expat and a mother to a teenager and toddler. She is slowly readjusting to life in the Pacific Northwest after twenty years in Mexico.
